I went running this morning… I got up at 6 and ran and walked for about 30 minutes. Such a refreshing activity! I feel so good and also, today is going to be my no-makeup day, for as long as I can stand… I guess it is a sort of a test, although at home I used to leave my face bare all the time – I am dressed in a very cheerful colour, a golden yellow sweater.. I just took my Solfege midterm, and now I need to finish reading The Manufacture of Consent (Chomsky).
I also need to come up with an outline for my third essay for Freshman Writing course, and start on my midterm essay for Freshman Seminar… and if I have time I will have to redo my short essay for Music Styles, which will be no mean task to accomplish.. *sigh* I have a lesson on Thursday, after my chamber music coaching, and in the meantime I need to finish writing the first draft of the essay, the outline of which I am handing in today. This is a rather worrying situation for me, because I am starting to feel distressed yet again.. this past weekend was too good to be true, and having drifted in the dream-like state of bliss, an island of a separate peace from which the reality of daily life seems only so foreign, I find it hard to crawl back into the usual pattern of my life here at college. AND I miss my mother with fresh nostalgia, now that we have founded a dear past of the days we spent together that is already being cherished so preciously.
I am trying to build on my vocabulary again, with a resolution that hopefully resembles the one I had at the beginning of my residence over here.. I want to take it to a new level.. books as I remember them were so much more accessible in Korean, and now I feel that unless I can have that same sense of manageability back, I would not be able to grow my intellect to its full power and capacity, which is ever expandable.
There is really no time for me to read all of these things that I so urgently want to learn about and understand and integrate into my self, and there always seems to be a flood of things coming at me.. it is very difficult.