I think “dumbfuck” is such a funny word.


Hey guys. I am at the University of Toronto Library, reading about Elgar and his cello concerto. Today I was supposed to have a rehearsal with a pianist at 1 p.m. but somehow he had gotten the date wrong and never showed up, thinking that it was next Wednesday. It’s super hot today, so when my mom came to pick me up I decided to go to her store with her and change into something lighter and cooler. I ended up in a stupid F.O.B.-ish creamy pink sleeveless dress with white polkadots, looking like a princess-wannabe. I feel utterly uncomfortable, out of place and extremely self-conscious. Having everybody stare at me while walking down the street, on the subway train, and then on the street again even conjured up the hellish memories from the ultra-self-conscious high school days. Just horrible. Awful. EWWWWW. The reason why I wound up in this horrible outfit? Honestly, I don’t know. I wanted to wear a skirt and a simple top or something, but there was no light-coloured skirt that would match my WHITE SANDALS (cuz I was wearing white jeans earlier) in the store, so I turned to sleeveless dresses, but all of them were way to big for me, though I still tried on many of them. By the time I got to this pink dress I was getting tired of changing and could also sense my mom getting tired of it 😮 Yeah. So I just thought “what the hell” and walked out in this dress, but how much nicer would it have been had I chosen a pair of capris (of well-ventilating material) and a tanktop or something. Yes. So. I dread my trip back to the store once I am done with stuff at the library. I don’t remember ever feeling so self-conscious about what I’m wearing in a long long time. I am usually fine way over-dressed, but this dress is just wrong. WRONG. ARGH. Why am I even bothering to tell you about this? I’d guess that most likely, I am pissed off because of the cancelled rehearsal and my lost time; plus it’s a very hot day; and on top of this, I am just very tired today. I wish I had brought one of the books I borrowed from the public library in my neighbourhood yesterday. I’m just really really fudging annoyed, if you know what I mean.