I’d like to write in my diary, but since my desk is a mess that I would not like to bother myself with right now, a little blurb here.
The last couple of days have been very happy. The sky was absolutely beautiful today, with clouds in never-before-witnessed-by-Soo shapes.
I can’t begin to talk about the emotional going-ons in me as of late.. but I believe I am, and in general things are, moving into a positive direction. So, good. I am tired. Life is like an endless tunnel sometimes… in which you even fool yourself into thinking that you see a dim light at the end of it somewhere. Life is like a beautiful garden sometimes.. where everything looks so perfect but you know all will soon perish into nothingness in the coming winter time. And then life is like a line of mystifying poetry sometimes, where everything could be anything, and you do not know if this is good or bad, or right or wrong.
Nothing Gold Can Stay.
Life Is Useless
Life is useless, all useless.
You spend your life working, laboring, and what do you have to show for it?
Generations come and generations go, but the world stays just the same.
The sun still rises, and it still goes down, going wearily back to where it must start all over again.
The wind blows south, the wind blows north–round and round and back again.
Every river flows into the sea, but the sea is not yet full. The water returns to where the rivers began, and starts all over again.
Everything leads to weariness–a weariness too great for words. Our eyes can never see enough to be satisfied; our ears can never hear enough.
What has happened before will happen again. What has been done before will be done again. There is nothing new in the whole world.
“Look,” they say. “here is something new!” But no, it has all happened before, long before we were born.
No one remembers what has happened in the past, and no one in days to come will remember what happens between now and then.
I, the Philosopher, have been king over Israel in Jerusalem. I determined that I would examine and study all the things that are done in this world.
God has laid a miserable fate upon us.
I have seen everything done in this world, and I tell you, it is all useless. It is like chasing the wind.
You can’t straighten out what is crooked; you can’t count things that aren’t there.
I told myself, “I have become a great man, far wiser than anyone who ruled Jerusalem before me. I know what wisdom and knowledge really are.”
I was determined to learn the difference between knowledge and foolishness, wisdom and madness. But I found out that I might as well be chasing the wind.
The wiser y ou are, the more worries you have; the more you know, the more it hurts.
I discovered that laughter is foolish, that pleasure does you no good.
Driven on by my desire for wisdom, I decided to cheer muyself up with wine and have a good time. I thought that this might be the best way people can spend their short lives on earth.
I accomplished great things. I built myself houses and planted vineyards.
I planted gardens and orchards, with all kinds of fruit trees in them;
I dug ponds to irrigate them.
I also piled up silver and gold from the royal treausries of the lands I ruled. Men and women sang to entertain me, and I had all the women a man could want.
Yes, I was great, greater than anyone else who had ever lived in Jerusalem, and my wisdomn never failed.
Anything I wanted, I got. I did not deny myself any pleasure. I was proud of everything I had worked for, and all this was my reward.
Then I thought about all that I had done and how hard I had worked doing it, and I realized that it didn’t mean a thing. It was like chasing the wind–of no use at all.
So I started thinking about what it means to be wise or reckless or foolish.
Oh, I know, “Wisdom is better than foolishness, just as light is better than darkness. The wise can see where they are going, and fools cannot.” But I also know that the same fate is waiting for us all. I thought to myself, “What happens to fools is going to happen to me, too. So what have I gained from being so wise?” “Nothing,” I answered, “not a thing.”
No one remembers the wise, and no one remembers fools. In days to come, we will all be forgotten. We must all die–wise and foolish alike.
So life came to mean nothing to me, because everything in it had brought me nothing but trouble. It had all been useless; I had been chasing the wind.
Nothing that I had worked for and earned meant a thing to me, because I knew that I would have to leave it to my successor.
So I came to regret that I had worked so hard. You work for something with all your wisdom, knowledge, and skill, and then you have to leave it all to someone who hasn’t had to work for it. It is uselss, and it isn’t right!
You work and worry your way through life, and what do you have to show for it?
As long as you live, everything you do brings nothing but worry and heartache. Even at night your mind can’t rest. It is all uselss.
The best thing we can do is eat and drink and enjoy what we have earned. And yet, I realized that even this comes from God.
How else could you have anything to eat or enjoy yourself at all?
God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness to those who please him, but he makes sinners work, earning and savingk so that what they get can be given to those who please him. It is lal useless. It is like chasing the wind.