Today started on a wrong foot and continued that way.  It was like a wrongly buttoned-up coat.  A confusing time in my life.  So many voices telling me where to go, where I should be.  What I need more than anything is probably silence, a hermetic space.  I don’t know why, (well, I do know why in terms of the circumstances, but I don’t know why my nature is so) but I am easily confused, confounded, doubtful, frightened, and discouraged, but that is how I am today, at this period.  I would like for that to be different and so, I am taking some positive actions.  I can’t lose this fight.

Sometimes it is easier just to pretend all is ok, and let it all slip by.  I have the (minimal) honesty/awareness/recognition that that is a state of dystopia eventually.  The other extreme is also bad, however.

I am going to bed.  I wish I had the energy to get moving constantly.

\”Dopperugengā\” (ドッペルゲンガー Doppelganger)